riftintheweave

it took me a long time to realize why my dog was afraid of things i see as normal. stairs with handrails. metal shelves with standing bars. he is a very obedient, very loving dog. but he is afraid of horizontal bars. He backs away.

he came to me serendipitously. he was on my back porch, starved and ragged and i closed the gate to my fence to keep him in. he was terrified. but a few plates of bacon and he loved me, and i loved him.

i never wanted to know the channel of abuse that led this creature to my doorstop. we are happy now, and the past doesnt matter, right?

i guess i didnt fully understand. i didnt understand that history smears violently forward into now. each point, each abuse, dragging forward. our pasts as seed to wicked trees that will grow and block the sun. sins which cannot be undone… burdens of time which should not be undone. all that we can do is to understand, and to think on how to be better.